Many millennials seem to dread the idea of being single. Even when the likelihood of a relationship seems slim, or they have no intention of getting serious, the desire for intimacy sometimes seems to dominate their whole life.
For this reason, many of us waste our single years trying not to be single, while missing out on all the opportunities that single life actually provides.
The irony in this, is that once you’ve mastered the art of enjoying single-life, it actually makes you a stronger person; a more desirable companion; and better able to handle your next breakup, should it occur.
So just in case your last relationship didn’t make it through the semester, and your new one won’t see the end of the year, here are five things you should be doing to make single-life just as exciting – if not more exciting – than hunting for your “soulmate”.
Work on Improving Yourself
Many people become stagnant during their relationships. In order to make time for our partners, it can become difficult to find time for anything else outside of work, school, and other obligations. There are only so many hours in a day, after all.
As a result, we sometimes miss out on opportunities to travel, pursue a(nother) degree, put in extra work to get promoted, start a side-business, or to get fit.
In fact, as far as fitness goes, it’s a well-known fact that people in relationships tend to gain weight together, especially after marriage. All those fit couples working out together on Instagram? – far from the norm.
Being single therefore provides the perfect opportunity to “upgrade yourself” and what you bring to the table. Remember:
You are an individual who is on their own life journey, regardless of who you spend it with or if anyone joins you at all.
Travel. Work out. Get a degree. Start your own business. Become a better you.
Complete Old Projects Gathering Dust
While working on becoming a better you, don’t forget to dust off some of those old projects and work on them, too. Building up ourselves should take priority, but there’s no harm in the passions we pursue for fun.
If you have a hobby you haven’t worked on in ages, this is the perfect time to get at it again. Complete that novel that’s been sitting on your hard drive for the past three years. Binge-watch all six seasons of Game of Thrones. Work on those six-pack abs. Sing karaoke.
Whatever it is – do what makes you happy. And if you don’t know what that is, then this is the time to find out.
Spend More Time with Friends and Family
No matter how much you try, once you get into an intimate relationship, it becomes harder to make time for other relationships. So when you’re single, be sure to spend as much time as you can with the people who have always been around, no matter who else comes and goes in your life.
This is also a great time to make new friends – especially friends your last partner would not approve of. For instance, straight men and women usually have a hard time making friends of the opposite sex without causing some discomfort in their relationship, so this is a great time to enjoy their company.
This is also the perfect time for girls’ nights out, and/or hanging with the boys.
Date Potential Candidates
While you’re busy making time for other people, making time for a dating life is also essential if you plan to return to being in a relationship at some point. The longer you remain single, the more out of practice you become.
Relationships are not like riding a bicycle. What you learn doesn’t just stay tucked away, waiting for the next time you find another partner. New experiences come along and push those aside.
Subsequently, it’s hard to re-learn to prioritise a partner after you’ve spent the past year and a half traveling solo, building your business from the ground up, and learning to surf.
However, understand that dates are just that and nothing more. Most of your dates will likely lead to nothing special, and that’s fine. Don’t try to forge poor connections and terrible compatibility into something more to get out of being single.
Enjoy the journey, and take the opportunity to learn what you want, and what personality types work best with your own.
Spend Some Time Alone – Voluntarily
Many single people – especially the newly single and the too-long single – become lonely quite easily, and try to fix it by constantly looking for people to kill time with. However, learning to become comfortable in your own company is the absolute best way to deal with loneliness. After all:
If you don’t want to spend time alone with you, why should anyone else?
By “upgrading yourself” and spending time on your favorite hobbies, you learn to become more comfortable in your own company. To complement this, find things you enjoy that you can do alone; such as, watching a movie, reading a book, playing an action adventure video game, or going for a run.
By learning to appreciate your time alone, you become more independent and much less needy and clingy. Not only does this make you more attractive to other independent and confident people, but it helps to make you confident around them.
Being single is a transitional period for many people, and a permanent state for some. However, the key to both enjoying single life and obtaining a better partner the next time around is building a life that people will actually want to be a part of – and no one more so than yourself.
The more amazing your single-life is, the less willing you’ll be to give it up for someone unworthy of your affection. So make time for the people and the things you love. But most importantly, make some time for you.
About the Author
Alexis Chateau is the Founder of College Mate and Managing Director at Alexis Chateau PR. She is an activist, writer, and explorer. Follow her stories of trial and triumph at www.alexischateau.com.